8:22 a.m. - Thursday, April 15, 2004
Beware, major vent ahead!
7:45 AM
Well hubby boy is at it again. He thinks that he doesn't have to help parent the childeren. I tell Paul to do something and he just doesn't listen and Don yells at me for yelling at him. I have for a while been trying to get them (kids and don) to wake me up when they are eating breakfast but apparentely the kids don't care if I'm up or not, so they have been letting me sleep and I have been getting up about 5 or 10 min before the bus comes. This isn't really what bothers me what bothers me is that I have told Paul many times to feed the dog earlier not wait till he is walking out the door. Guess what he did this morning. He fed the dog about ohh 1 min and a half before the bus was spotted. So I asked him how hard would it be to feed her earlier, he gave me some flipant repsonse which ticked me off but by then the bus was here. Hubby boy was on the way out to door too and this is the whole parenting alone thing, he says, well you can yell at us when we get home. In other words he was being ignorant about me saying something to Paul. Paul doesn't think he has to do what he is told and by him, hubby boy, staying silent tells Paul that I am wrong and that Dad is on his side. Well I am setting my clock for about 10 after 7 and no matter what Paul is doing at that time he will be feeding the dog and at 7:30 he will be letting her out. I don't ask much of my kids and it ticks me off that they can't even do these small things. In a snotty way Don assured me tomorrow morning I will be awake. GRRRRR,,, Good morning to me!
Maybe the awakening was rude but the sun sure is pretty and warm coming in the window here. It is supposed to be warming up today and tomorrow. Whaa whoo� dang I forgot to talk to Kay about the ball game. **grrr,, see if they would have been ready 5 or min before the bus this morning I would have gotten to talk to her.** Tonight is Zacks ball game I had made plans on going and now I�m not real sure if I will be able to go since I need to find out if Dad and Mom want me to go with them to Pittsburgh to the doc tomorrow. She is going to see a specialist about her discitus if that is what it is. Soooo I need to talk to them today and then adjust my book accordingly. I am sure she doesn�t want me to go cause I have told her how much I think her regular doctor is an incompetent imbecile. So she isn�t to eager to take me now for fear I will say something, which I won�t but still. I have been doing better at reconciling things to my self lately. **The whole sister thing, which by the way the more I think about it the better it makes me feel. I don�t have to feel bad about harboring the like feelings towards them!** Anyways I have decided that it is going to be what it is going to be with Mom and she wants Dad to take care of her then so be it. She can do what she wants and I will do my best to hold my tongue when I think things should be different. I think I have actually gotten to the point where I am thinking just leaving it up to God to take care is the very best think I can do, and less stressful for me. I really need to learn that I need to keep my mouth shut and quit trying to do for people. You know the proverbial brick I keep mentioning, it is I who needs it this time. I need to keep to my own and take care of the things I can, have the ability to leave those things be that I can�t change **without pissing everyone off** and the strength to keep my mouth shut. This means that Iet Mom call me and tell me she is going to the docs appointment and not to lunch with me. Sigh!
I guess I need to quit fretting, and just go shower and get ready for work. I have some cleaning to do down there. I also was reading in my state law for cosmetology book that I need to have my garbage covered which I don�t, so I need to get that taken care of with a new garbage can.
Hopefully I�ll be in a much better mood here next time I write. I hate fretting and that is all I am doing. I hope my day gets better from here on.
10:30 am Well things are indeed looking up Dad called and asked me to go to Pittsburgh with them. I was so happy, and I have the 2 appointments rescheduled that I had on the book for tomorrow. See they do love me. **oyy I�m such a weenie that I need the affirmation, they are my parents and love me no matter what,, duhh�!!** So I am going to meet them about 7:40 tomorrow morning in Conneaut Lake and then we will head off to Greenville hospital to get test results and such then to Pittsburgh. I hope I can remember the way to that hospital. I know that I knew it when mom was so sick and was there for a month. I know Dad is probably capable of doing this alone but as he says they need a witness. **I think maybe someone else to listen and hear what the doc says.** Dad did tell me something that bothered me a bit, the doc said there hadn�t been a change after all that 8 weeks of IV antibiotics but what he didn�t tell us and that he told Mom and Dad Tue when she was at the doc was that the disc has grown. He had sent the stuff to a neurologist in Hermitage and he said that there was nothing to do at this time. Her reg doc, who finally has learned to be more thorough, didn�t quite agree and was concerned so he is sending her to Pitts. This makes me happy. All I have left to do is call the school and get Kay to call home when she gets a chance so that I can tell her to go on up to the ball game and I will meet her as soon as I get done doing the hair cut I had to reschedule from tomorrow. Well I am inspired to scrapbook so I am off to enjoy some of my favorite hobby!!
