8:33 a.m. - Monday, April 11, 1005
I hope things get better,, no wait I KNOW things will get better...
I�m not sure I can take mornings. I think God made me a second shift person, and today I think I believe this wholeheartedly. It is Monday morning and I�m tired and weepy. I quit taking the St. John�s Ward supplement some time ago because things were going well. I went to the doc last Wed. and she put me on a nasal steroid to help with the sinus garbage which is just fine, she also put me back on my singulair which should help with the allergy stuff. My lovely insurance company says they will no longer pay for any sort of allergy medicine. YAY.. NOT!! I�m thinking these mood things are not associated with the new medicines. I think I will be going back on both the garlic and St. Johns because my BP was up a bit and I am just wondering if that doesn�t have something to do with it.
I�m embarrassed and ashamed that I may have sounded very angry and �bitchy� when I told Boss Lady that my door was off it�s hinges. You see there was a big old refrigerator in my office all this time and I was glad to see it go but in the state of mind I was in this morning I might have sounded bitchy about my door being off. I used to never close my door but then I was told I had to because of the whole privacy/noise thing; so I got very used to being closed in my office and now I feel all naked and exposed without it being in it�s place. If I knew where the damn pins were I put it back on myself. Ohh by the way, BL knew they didn�t put them back on, she said they didn�t have time. I just want to cry. I have never felt quite this intense before, or I don�t remember it if I did. I hope I can adjust to this morning thing. I was all bummed and hated getting up this morning with a sense of dread and loss. Why?? I haven�t a clue, maybe because Kay keeps counting down the days till school is out and I won�t be there when they are home this summer or what, but whatever it is I wish it would go away. I�m going to get some stuff after work today I can�t take this horrible feeling.
It�s time to start work so I guess I will that way I will occupy my mind and by lunch I will be feeling just fine. Like I tell my kids everything is a state of mind.
Alrighty I�m off to begin my day..
Always remember and never forget.. if you are feeling yucky don�t go straight to the BL with a gripe/problem.
