11:31 p.m. - Wed. Jan. 21, 2004
My mother's doctor needs a brick up long side the head, and I want to choke my sister,,, AGAIN!!!!!
Well I am now thoroughly convinced that my mother doctor is an idiot who needs to have a brick up long side his head before he gets a clue. All the past months I have been saying to myself and others that I think there was something more wrong with Mom�s back than what the stupid doc said. I kept thinking maybe something kidney related or something like that. Since the onset of pain was when she �supposedly had a kidney infection,� he never made a connection and I�m not even entirely sure he checked to make sure she was over it. She has been in excruciating pain since either the end of Oct. or the beginning of Nov.!!! I should have gone with her but when she is hurting I can�t sometimes get away to go with her and give the doc hell and to do more tests. He is a nice guy, great bedside but you know what I don�t think he is very capable. I swear that if she doesn�t make it through this I will sue his butt for every single cent I can. I don�t give a crap what my family says, he needs to be taught a lesson so maybe he doesn�t brush things aside with someone else. ***not that I have enough spine to actually sue him but man I want too� what a butthead*** He did x rays of the lower spine and a cat scan and the pain persisted but did he follow those up with an MRI??? NO!!!! He said after it was still hurting for 3 weeks to maybe go to therapy to get some exercises that he said it was compression crack in her spine. Meanwhile this infection is getting worse. I am not sure how rapid this is growing in there but at least her blood work is coming back good. They hospitalized her yesterday but she is just cooling her heals in there nothing at all going on but the preliminary blood work is coming back alright, they were to do a procedure where they semi-sedate her and take a needle and go in and grab a bit of the infected disk or whatever has the infection today but there wasn't anyone to do it so she will have to wait till Friday at 10 am. Heck what is 2 more days when she has been going almost 3 months like this. **dripping with sarcasm** This kind of infection is rare but not that rare, the doc that found it with a simple MRI said this is not to be taken lightly and really kinda told us that this is very very serious. He told us about this guy who got it through his system and had to have heart valve replacement surgery it got so far advanced. Man I am beginning to scare myself. I hope she does ok.
Of course my sister Joyce is now Daddy constant buddy to go to the hospital now. She was there today, and we all know she found something she had to correct me on. I asked the one doc a couple of questions when she was there in front of Mom. They weren�t anything big I just asked if it was in the bone. She told me it was in her disc between the bones. I can�t remember if I asked another question or not but Joyce and I stepped out for a cup of coffee giving mom and dad a few min alone. We got sat down and she began how I shouldn�t ask the docs anything in front of Mom and I should follow them out of the room to talk to them, that I was causing Mom more anxiety and stress and how that wasn�t good.. and on and on. I am just thinking that I really need to just slap her sometimes. This coming from the daughter that told me she couldn�t stand to spend much time with her *Mom* that she got her nerves too bad. I will consider what she said but I am still angry that it doesn�t matter whatever it is I do I am wrong about something I should or shouldn�t do this or that. Just like in Pittsburgh, when she kept telling me things like don�t ask questions don�t tell Mom what the docs say, don�t do this don�t tell Dad that! I don�t want to deal with her or any other of my siblings. I just get so angry at the way she puts on that she knows what is best and I am stupid and so on. When she tells me something she thinks I should or shouldn�t do she gets this very syrupy well meaning tone to her voice, which makes me just what to slap it right out of her. Mom and I are way closer in compatibility than she is. I am not saying Mom loves me more or I have a better relationship with her, I am saying that Mom and I enjoy the same things and are close through those bonds. Joyce probably sees Mom more but doesn�t have nearly the fun Mom and I do. I just want Mom to get better quickly so I don�t have to spend time with my siblings. This will be a long haul though, to kill an infection in this place is hard because there isn�t a lot of blood since it is what ever material discs are made out of. She will have to be on IV drugs for 6 to 8 weeks in the hospital.
I am praying and hoping this procedure goes well on Friday and nothing happens and they get what they need, get out and get it cultured so we **well the docs** know what kind of antibiotic to give her.
Here we go again, but this time I am not in as good of financial state to be running back and forth to Pittsburgh if it comes to that, but we will cross our fingers and hope it don�t come to that. If you think about it remember when you are talking to God to beg off a favor for my Mom.
Well I�m tired and semi cold and stressed beyond belief so I am going to cuddle up with my nice warm corn pack and try to keep calm. Poor Mom if I am this anxious I can only imagine what she is feeling. The good thing is she isn�t doped up because it has no symptoms unless she gets up and moves around then the pain starts but sitting in her bed there she feels just fine.
I just recalled something,,, I felt more relaxed with David�s family while visiting Ruth *his mother* in the hospital when she had cancer than I do with my own. Pretty sad huh? I guess that was different but there no one criticized me for anything.
OHH well I will leave you with this thought�. Everybody says that you need to kiss someone�s butt to get what and where you want to be out of life, humm I must not be anyone cause haven�t noticed anyone kissing mine lately.
I�m off to bed!
