9:14 a.m. - Sat. July 29, 2006
The lessons we learn... as we grow.
Ya know I am of the mind that I need to not make assumptions about things. The difficult lady I wrote about last wasn�t too bad last week. She didn�t fall and I didn�t get sued so it was all good. She even gave me a $2 tip!
I paid the bills and was only about $50 short, thank goodness the rebate on the camera came in. I hope that Aug. is a better month. I am so excited if I can keep up the good work and payments I figure that by Nov. I will have the 3 little cards paid off and can start on the business one. It would be really cool to be able to pay off them all by May. Then I could help pay off Kay�s college and put some into savings. I am going to keep hopeful and focused.
Paul loves the money he makes, but isn�t too thrilled with the whole �job� thing. He had a long shift of yucky jobs today I guess. He is spending the night out at his girlfriend�s house. They have been not getting along the best and they worked together today and well I thought he might be breaking up with her but he said he was happy and wanted to over there tonight. HUMmm go figure� kids!
I do believe my life goes in cycles� I am now in the calm cycle for the most part. I still get flighty but not as bad and I have better insight to things now. Like the concept that life can throw rotten fruit at you but how you choose to react to it is up to you, and shows what kind of person you are. It�s easy to remember this when things are easy but it shows when things are tough.
Funny how my Gram used to tell me things that at the time didn�t mean that much but now� now they do� she used to tell me to be kind. I thought she was meaning to be nice to everyone. She was meaning to be fundamentally kind no matter what.
Last night I went into pick up my son from work but before we got there Paul calls and says... I want to go spend the night at Rachael's is that alright with you. Now things with Rachael have been steadily going down the tubes the last 2 weeks. She is a nice girl and I'm not putting her down, she just isn't the one for my son. I am so sad to say this they used to make each other so very happy. To make a long story short he went over there to break up last night. I get a call at about 11 or so "Mom come and get me as soon as possible.. Please hurry." So I jump into my van and off I go. I get there and luckily Rachael's mom who I have become good friends with is out on the porch with the kids. What a sad sight, they were both sitting there head in their hands not speaking. Apparently Rachael doesn't really know what is bothering Paul and I told him he needs to at least let her know what is going on and give her the chance to fix it. She is just a strong personality and you have to know how to take her... Paul is the opposite, he is quiet and reserved but he doesn't like to be pushed around either, so when she would joke with him sometimes he didn't get it,,, and when she would tell him what he was going to spend his money on,,, he got more upset, and then finally last night she told him to get real there was no way he would ever be a pro golfer or paintball player. You know and I know that those were just dreams but to him she squashed them, and that was it. Everything that had been bothering him was greater than his feelings for her and he is like I don't even want to try and patch things up now. I feel so very bad for him he is a great kid, of course so is Rachael and I hate to see either of them hurt, but like the old saying goes... Better to have love and lost than never loved at all. I'm sure in this case it stretching it a bit but still none the less better to have the experience. I always tell the kids it doesn't matter what experience you have you can learn something from it, in some cases you may only learn that you don't want to be that way or you would do something different in the next relationship.
He is so hurting and I feel so dang bad for them. I�m sure she is hurting too. I wish I could ease it for them. Paul told me all the stuff he wants to do the rest of the summer, and he didn�t mention Rachael once.
I guess the only thing I can do is love him, and be kind and loving to her too. I feel really bad that she doesn�t talk to her mom like he talks to me. We were up till 2:30 last night talking. What a night.
The one thing that I am happy for is that I think Cathy and I can keep our friendship because we understand they are kids and are learning and well it would have been great for them to have made it, but they are only 16. Who knows they maybe someday get back together if Cathy and I remain friends.
Well I have a lady due here soon so I�m off to begin my day.
Always Remember and Never Forget�experiences are learning tools.
