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11:21 p.m. - 2004-05-29
LOOOOONG Winded.... look out...
Well if this isn�t the sorriest pile of crap I have ever been in. Ok so not really just feeling a bit odd and thought I would talk to some friends instead of sitting here on the computer but nobody is home and the one person I did reach is sick and sounds terrible. Actually the sad thing is that everybody appears to have a life but me. Well sigh I guess I went out last night and that should make me happy but nooo�� alright,, so I seem to be somewhat in an odd mood. I am thinking more dang hormones! I am so glad this new doc put me back on the pill. It will bring an end to all this I am hoping. I don�t think I could go back to being me without hormone therapy.

**OK I am putting this warning here� this had turned into a rambling going nowhere long winded entry, my life and times **what I have been doing** is before the break and after the break is just stupid drivel feel free to just read a portion or don�t say I didn�t warn you�*S* ***

Sooo nobody to talk to me,, and my family is doing their own thing, and only my niece is on line and she is leaving,, sniff sniff.. I have decided that since I have done so well with my points today, that I deserve a drink or two. I don�t have to be anywhere in the morning since we went to church tonight. We went to a different church and as I�m sitting there worrying about how I should just stay with one church *we have 5 catholic churches all about the same driving distance in our area* I realized that it was a big deal when I started going to church on my own in a new church that I hadn�t ever been too. I then thought that maybe it was good to take the kids to different churches so they don�t feel they can�t go into any catholic church. I guess that would be a good thing, so that feeling odd going to a new church won�t stop them from going when they get out into the world. Sigh I can�t believe I am already thinking about that happening.

I guess I should share a bit of what I have been up to since I last updated. I did get the dishes done, and I did get the hair done I needed to got the van all cleaned so we could take it with being too embarrassed, and got home with a little time to spare before the leaving. A good time was had by all in Erie,, the guys went to the game and us girls, Laurie, Melissa her daughter, and I all went shopping,, **kay wanted to go get her year book at the dance.** We went to the dollar store and I got stuff like coffee and shoe box totes for the beauty shop and some really cheap but nice graduation cards for all these graduations I have coming up, oh and some hair ties for miss Kay since she told me to get her something. Then we were off to Kohls, which is Laurie and Melissa�s favorite store hung out there a bit and got Kay a top for $4. Next it was off to A. C. Moore�s for scrapbooking stuff; which surprise surprise I didn�t over spend. I got some cool paper on sale, cheap chalk and some glue for my foam to make stuff on my pages pop. **cheaper than the pre-glued stuff** The guys called while were there and said it would be around 9 when the game ended. So we got busy and got down to get them. I know Erie pretty well but sometimes in the dark it is easy to miss a ONE WAY sign. OOPS� it was too funny, I decided that I wanted to park and thought I would go around the block,, well I went to turn left� and was facing 3 lanes of traffic coming towards me,, well the most unlady like word came out of my mouth,,, to which Laurie got a big laugh out of the look on Melissa�s face. I don�t use this word a lot and have been trying really hard to not use it at all but once in a great while the �F� word does escape me. That touched off a whole chain of giggles. We must have laughed for a good 5 min. straight. I also don�t know what got into Laurie and I, but man did we think and talk about sex a lot. I am sure poor Melissa got an education.

So we meet up with the guys as they are coming out of the stadium and decide we want to go in and watch the fireworks. That was a lot of fun they were pretty good for freebies. Don made a comment that they were long in coming but quick in getting off.. well heh that fit right into our mentality and trust me it didn�t stop there! We had this long discussion about the weenies at the game. You had to be there but I am sure that Laurie�s hubby thinks I�m a bit immature cause I couldn�t control my giggling.. I couldn�t help it but every time someone said �weenie� I lost it. The one thing they guys were saying was that the jumbo weenies looked like a regular weenie. To which Laurie and I asked if a guy was selling them and they said yes,, and we said well �that� explains it! That left me with aching sides from laughing. It was a great trip!!! I am sure that our boys Paul 14 and Ryan 13 got an education on the way home too.

We got home late like at 11:30 or so but stupid me got on line and chatted with an old friend. **wink wink** I was tired since I did hair and then was off and running the rest of the day. That was my Friday, and today wasn�t nearly as busy but since I didn�t get a lot of sleep last night I was very tired,,, **I tried to finish my book last night after I got off line too** This morning came very early since I had to be in the shop and ready to do 2 wedding do�s at 8 am. YIKES.. can you say man I wished I had went to be earlier??? OYY!! I did a little girl that I have done before for weddings. She is so very cute but was very tired too and was somewhat cranky but I got her hair done and it was really cute. I also did her mom�s hair too, which turned out very nice also. What was really fantastic was that on the top of the $50 the 2 do�s cost she gave me a $5 dollar tip! I love doing them. I had a good time doing their practice run to see just what I was going to do this morning. I even got them outta here with plenty of time for them to get their truck washed. The while I was waiting on my friend who wanted her hair cut around noon I cleaned and put stuff away in the shop. Man does it need a lot more attention that what I gave it today. The recent rains have just left mud and mold behind. OYY GRRRR!! So that was my day I visited with my friend and then took a short nap then off to church and out to dinner at Burger King where I went and got a Micky D�s salad,, I didn�t know BK had salads! Dinner was so good and I played with some scrapbooking stuff but too tired to think right enough to do it.

The captain is keeping me company tonight, since I did so well with my points I thought I would have a few drinks before I went to bed. I should be well rested and ready to face my family tomorrow. I sooo don�t want to go. I have mentioned the sibs before and I am thinking Sue and her kids will be there, I would just as soon hide from them as to look at them. I hate fake, and that is what I am when I am around them. I put on a happy face like I am happy to see them when I would rather being scrapbooking, cleaning, planting my tomato plants, getting a root canal or being poked in the eye with a blunt instrument! I do love my mother dearly and I also love the kid who the celebration is for dearly sooo I will go and be all happy to be there all the while thinking man I wish I were anywhere but here. Of course I tend to make things way worse in my head than they actually turn out to be, so I should just quit my whining and move on.


Alrighty moving on, to more captain inspired thoughts. The first one is,,, I love music� absobloominlutely love music. I like to listen and sing, not that I have any talent but I still love to do it in any case. I am a soprano, not to be confused with the HBO series. In church to night they had a guy doing the cantoring, or singing and of course he sang either tenor or alto not sure which, but I needed to sing a bit higher so I did, I think it was ok�. Not many people sing in that church I noticed and I�m not sure why but I liked singing. I have a few songs here on my computer and I am enjoying these songs a lot� They are improving my mood. I still wish someone would come on my instant messengers to chat. Not sure I want to hang out in a chat room I am in that sorta funky mood remember?? Sorta would like a select few to come on line, but as of yet they aren�t. Bummer. I hope that didn�t hurt anyone�s feelings it isn�t meant to be hurtful, but I can�t do an entry if I am in a chat room. OHh well, the captain says I shouldn�t worry about it cause it is my diary. Hahaha,, silly captain.

Have you ever heard the song�. If you could read my mind by Gordon Lightfoot?? �If you could read my mind love, what a tale my thoughts could tell��..� I love this song� I like his voice, and the music too.

I guess since I have rambled on way longer than I have ever done I will leave you with this thought�.

If a person is alone, are they lonely or lonesome or just alone?? If time were to stand still would we all freeze?? If I didn�t have music would I be very very crabby??? If we were always happy would it be happy or just dull?? If we didn�t have lows would we know what highs were???

Alright that does it. I�m off to read instead of babble.

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