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10:53 a.m. - Mother's Day May 9, 2004
Mother's Day Whatnot
It is a pretty morning in my world today, as I sit here and sip my coffee and enjoy the sunshine. It is Mother�s Day! What to do what to do what to do�� To be honest I think I am so blessed and loved that I really don�t need anything for mother�s day other than some extra TLC. I am one lucky mother! **hehe**

Things here have been just a bit rough with Kay having some emotional problems. She scratched her face when she just couldn�t stand the emotional pain anymore. She lies so convincingly I believed her when she told me she had done it at school. Luckily this boy that she �broke up� with which is odd that she is still �seeing� him, they say they are taking a break but who the heck knows, called me and told me that she told him she did it herself. I have a couple of thoughts on this whole thing. The first thought would be she did it for the reason of having some physical pain something visible to take away from the emotional pain, which from what I�ve read is a normal thing especially for teen girls since displays of emotion (active ones like hitting punching stuff like that) is usually looked down upon and my daughter tries to do everything right. My second thought is this either frightened her and she wanted me to find out, or gave her away to display how hurt she was. It doesn�t really matter now but we have done a lot of talking and she understands not to do that any more because the emotion is like wave which will come and go she just has to make it through. I took her to the new doctor and she did fine and we told her about it and she prescribed some medicine for her, to help level out the highs and lows. Kay says it isn�t working. Haha you silly girl it may take a while before it begins to work. I am happy this doctor said as long as she and I keep good working open lines of communication then she doesn�t need to see anyone to talk to!! Whaa whoo!! I�m still freaked out a bit about it to be honest but reading and talking and just spending all this extra time with her is really helping me work it though. So far she has told me bits and pieces more of how she did it and what she used, she�s used a screwdriver, necklace, and I can�t remember what else, but she hasn�t done it too many times� just a few.. the obvious ones I saw on her face which counting this time, will be 3 and she told me she scratched her wrist too. *that one was very mild and I don�t think I even saw it* These are just scratches broken skin for the most part they don�t even bleed, but the marks stay for days. I think that is because she is using stuff with bacteria on them and then re-irritates them when she is overwhelmed again. I hope through realizing this she will be able to over come this so it doesn�t become and addiction thing and more severe than it is right now. I had thought that I didn�t want to post all this and thought I would just keep it private, but this is apart of my life and sweeping it under the rug wouldn�t do me any good. I need to be able to deal with it and talk about it so that I can help her deal with it.

Ohh one last thing, the kids at school somehow have figured it out and are all saying she is a cutter and was going to commit suicide, I absolutely HATE teen drama and the fact they can�t mind their own business. GRRRRRR!! Alright enough of that, it still does freak me out a bit.

I think summer is here, I have the window open and it is so wonderful smelling *until my allergies kick in* the breeze is chilly but with the hidden promise of becoming balmier as the day goes on. Don keeps asking me what I want to do today. To be honest I would just like to do some grilling, which would be very hard since I didn�t get the tanks filled or exchanged when I went out to my brother�s last week. OYY! Stupid Stupid stupid! I could probably head out that way and my dad would get me some but then heck you know I might just do that. Go to Erie, since I really do need to get his lady�s hair color for Tue. that I forgot to order from my new supply shop. I hope they have it! Then I was thinking about stopping and some more scrapbooking stuff. Why,,, just cause I neeeeed it! We could probably stop out at mom and dads for a bit and I can give Mom her plant and then get my propane and then have steaks on the grill. I would so love that,, but how do you find tender good stakes?? I would like to buy some stuff to do my swag in my dining room too today.

I guess if I want to get going as soon as Don gets back with the groceries I should be getting ready. Happy Mother�s Day to all the mothers out there, I hope you have a great one!!

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