Get your ow
n diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

2:20 p.m. - Wed. Feb. 11, 2004
A boring Parenting entry!
Parenting is a funny thing. All the classes and all the books can only tell you theories that may or may not apply to your child. With this whole letter to Kayla thing, it has caused me to think about times gone by. I would love to say I have been the best parent I could have been, but in reality I wasn�t. I sometimes think if I had another child now I would be a better parent. I hope that I haven�t damaged my kids too bad. Alright I don�t think I have done much damage but I do think I have done a lot of good. This entry is all about what I wish I would have done as a young parent and not some of the things I did do.

First a little background about me which sheds a bit of light on how I raised my kids. First I am the youngest of 7 children. People who aren�t the youngest have a hard time relating to this but I always felt that they all thought they were better than me and I was just some young person who wouldn�t know how to do anything. I did some baby sitting for my older sisters and their kids were horrible especially Joyce�s, this in an attempt to gain their respect and love. **we all know how well that works** I felt my sisters Sue included weren�t nearly as strict as they should have been with their kids. Heck these kids were disrespectful and down right tantrum throwing brats. I remember that at one time I told my sister Joyce that no kid of mine would ever be that bratty. Fast forward about 15 yrs and I have my first child.

She was everything I wanted her to be until� she was old enough to get a hold of the TV and the plants and whatnot. I tended to yell entirely too much. My husband tried to tell me that I used too sharp of a voice with her and yelled too much! I didn�t really think I did till one day he was video taping us and I did it right there on tape, it had become a habit with me. That sharp menacing tone. I felt horrible. I tried my best to clean up the way I yelled. Time went on and she became 3 oyyy� I thought I would never live to see her turn four. She was such a trying child. By this time I was trying harder and reading more and more about why she was acting the way she was and how to handle it without losing my temper. Paul was in his first year of life and I am sure that sometimes she felt that I was paying more attention to him than her. I think that had something to do with it along with the 3 yr old mentality. About this time I learned something from a book can�t remember which one but that pre-schoolers needed choices but also clear cut boundaries and consequences. They need to understand that if they break the rule there will be consequences *another nice word instead of punishment* for doing so. If I never learn another thing about kids it is you can�t argue with them. Arguing is never a good thing with anyone. I have done my share of arguing but I eventually learned to mean what I say and say what I mean and follow through with it. Things got better from there on. Until we hit school and I was so mean to Kay when she was learning to read, she really had trouble and instead of being patient I was mean. I learned later of course that Kay really had a problem.

I made most of my mistakes with her and less with Paul when he was little. Now I seem to be making more mistakes with Paul than I do with Kay. I seem to yell entirely too much at him. The sad thing is I know that every behavior is has a cause. I keep thinking about why Paul does the things he does. He is a good kid, but he does what I tell him to do half way. This infuriates me to no end, it isn�t that I haven�t showed him many times the correct way of doing it, he just doesn�t want to do it. So we have this battle. He won�t listen or do what I tell him unless I yell, and hubby boy just sits there and never says a word, which translates into approval to the child. I wish I could figure out why he acts that way. I also keep telling myself communication is the key and that yelling habit comes easy and I should watch what I say and how I say it. I think he has lower self esteem than Kay. Funny thing is I know all this stuff but it is just really hard to practice it. **just so you know so far all those bratty kids turned out to be alright adults, but my kids were still much nicer and better behaved than their were. HUMM so is making kids behave that important???**

Why am I writing this?? Not because I think I am a bad mother, but because we are all human and make mistakes and if by some chance my daughter or anyone for that matter with kids happen to read this and learn anything from my mistakes then I have done what I have set out to do.

I know I am a loving, and for the most part a good mother with wonderful, intelligent, respectful children who I hope grow up to be happy productive adults and give me many grandbabies for spoiling.


The day is sorta sunny here with blue behind some of those big puffy clouds. OOHH man I can�t wait till spring.

Tonight is the last match for Kay, I am going to try and take some photos of Kay in her uniform that are nice maybe good enough for enlarging and framing. I have prepared my camera for the �photo shoot� I have empty memory cards and two sets of charged batteries. It is Sr. night so I will want some photos of Karen and her son Paul who is a senior. I am also going to keep trying to get some photos of Kay�s friend Amanda because Kay needs to make her a scrapbook for the banquet. Why you might ask she isn�t a sr. I haven�t a clue. None the less I will help her make it, maybe a mini album or something. I have some ideas.

I am still working on Paul�s First Communion pages and it is funny when I am making pages of just everyday photos it is easy, but these two pages are special and I can�t decide what I think looks best. OYY!!! I am worried that I won�t like it when it is done, and it was such a special day. I do need to get busy at it before the paper and such get ruined and them I will really be upset.

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!