10:37 p.m. - Thurs. Nov. 21, 2003
Major Paranoia and a side of TV
Just a quickie, and nooo not that kind of quickie,, well ok I�m not going to go there. I mean just a very short quick entry!!
I have officially begun a birth control free hormonal state. Hence the grand canyon of mood swings last night. I did however find out that hubby boy was crabby because he was probably achy and tired. I guess while he was flagging yesterday he got soaked to the skin. Why I ask since he has nice rain gear issued by the state. I don�t know why he wasn�t wearing it. I guess his day did sorta stink in that respect? How did I figure this out if he didn�t tell me??? Well I happen to do one of his co-workers hair this evening and it is always fun to hear about him from her� yes her. She is a very very nice person. We hit it right off. HUMM I certainly hope I don�t have anything to fear from her. I doubt it. OHHH gosh I just had this thought what if I don�t turn him on and he appears lukewarm to me because of me and not because of him. What if he has the hots for his coworker?? She keeps saying that he is a great guy. OHH my,,, yikes.. **biting my nails I just got grew out nice�. *** In all my �pity party poor me mentality, it might not be about me� well it might be about her. I used to think that he would never look at another woman, but ohhh this is a scary road to go down. You know Paul�s friend said I reminded him of the shrew of a women who is married to Raymond on that show Everybody Loves Raymond.. **not me I can�t stand the man, but that is beside the point.** So I have been asking myself lately�.am I a shrew? OHH my gosh what if he really doesn�t love me??
You know writing is usually a soothing thing for me; humm doesn�t seem to be the case tonight. I am trying not to let these fears get to me. I don�t think he would ever go to another woman would he. I guess there are a lot of things that I do that irritate the crap right out of him, like not being a good housekeeper, and sometimes not having dinner for him, and always pushing him to be more affectionate. OK now I am almost at a panic stage. NOOO this is just my imagination getting entirely too carried away. I hope.
Alright enough thinking, I need to turn of my tiny little brain and take some good drugs for my sinuses they are killing me. I have a killer head ache.
Before I do take off to get some good drugs in me, I have to comment on the departure of Rupert. Sniff sniff� he is a good guy I think, I liked him on the show. I just think it stunk the way Lil stabbed him in the back, and sided with the jerk Jon, whom I can�t stand. He is a idiot I wish they would have gotten rid of him when they had the chance. I kinda figured he was a no good waste of skin. I do think Rupert at one time wanted to get rid of him but then they decided on someone else. I liked this survivor theme a lot, although not sure if I want to watch it anymore without Rupert.
CSI was good tonight, I like the way they are developing the characters but I also liked it when they all divided up and worked 2 or 3 cases a show. We shall see how that pans out. I like the mystery part of the show as much as I liked the characters interaction.
Alright I think I managed to get my paranoia corralled enough to take something for these nasty sinuses and head off to bed after I fix the fire.
