9:26 a.m. - Posted: 10-23, Written on 10-19-03
Blah Blah,,
This would be one of those evenings that I want to write and have a few fleeting topics floating around in my head, but can�t really develop one into an entry.
I think the reason why I can�t seem to develop one is because I seem to be having one of those strong emotion type couple days here.
In case you didn�t notice I was very very up and now I sorta have a few little things bugging me that really shouldn�t but does none the less.
I guess I�m still getting used to the idea that none of my nieces that had babies this summer want me to see them. HUMM I don�t know why this is other than they don�t want my company. This sounds strong like I did something I�m not telling about but I haven�t. Well nothing intentional, nothing that I thought other than going over board being nice wanting them to like me. I guess that can be just as offensive as being nasty though.
You see I am in a odd place in the family. I am the baby of 7 and while I was a teen and preteen 4 of my older siblings were having babies, and these babies were, I�m not going to say center of my home life but well I loved seeing them and spent quite a bit of time with them, even when I wasn�t babysitting. So I feel like I have a connection to these kids, I love them soo much. I have tried to do stuff for them and invite them over but they are always to busy. Well I guess I don�t know how to take a hint. I guess that I am just feeling not only rejected but sad because I have learned that the connection is only mine, not theirs.
I have done well this summer though I don�t go over and I don�t invite myself to visit them. This is what they want, if they wanted my company they would give me a ring and say Hey Aunt Marianne how goes it? Wanna come over and see the baby-s. So I have only seen one of them 2 or 3 times, the triplets none, the one if Philly which was here for 5 days, none, **I even talked to her on the phone and she didn�t ask me over, neither did her mom/my sister that one smarted** However my sister-in-law brought her grandson to see me the first time she could get a hold of him and *sigh* I was at the football game with the kids. I didn�t know she was coming over. The last baby to be born that I made stuff for this summer I have seen her once, and her mom assured me that anytime I want to see her not to hesitate to call and she will see what she is doing. She brought Alli out to see me when she was only 4 � weeks old. Just called me up out of the blue one Friday and asked if I was going to be home that someone wanted to get to know her �Aunt Mari� her words not mine. I was so excited. They were here for about 2 hour and I think I held the baby for almost all of it. She is soo precious.
You know with this kind of serious baby thing going on I should hire out as a Gramma for babies.. hehe.. just so mom�s can get out and be people again, for a little while. Maybe I could volunteer in the hospital peds ward. You know that is something I could do.. humm I�ll think on that a bit. Go in on Wednesdays to just help out. HUMM.
Alright that would be the conclusion of the entry I was writing last evening when some stupid hijacker took my browser hostage. GRRRR!! That ticked me off.
